Saturday, September 11, 2010

Restaurant Reviews: Figaro Bistrot

Figaro Bistro is a Los Feliz staple. Directly on Vermont in the heart of Los Feliz Village, it's a cute boulangerie (say that three times fast)  and bistro serving classic french food and pastries. Here's my breakdown:

The Good:  By far, the best thing about this place is the people watching. While there is seating inside, the hot seats are the tiny 2-tops outside on the sidewalk. Day or night, these tables are packed! The tables themselves are wobbly, they can barely hold two drinks and a bread basket, but lets face it, with the chance to see and be seen, you probably won't care. Roll up a piece of bread, stick it under that wobbly leg and get watching!

While you're watching, may I recommend anything off the breakfast menu or perhaps a piece of cheesecake? The omelets at Figaro are light and fluffy and spiced deliciously. Provencale, Parisienne, Figaro, all are delicious options for an omelet. ($10-$12) The salads are a delightful accompaniment to what can quickly become a very starch heavy meal (the parisienne is stuffed with potatoes in addition to the mountain that comes on the side). Portion sizes are very good (I struggled to finish one omelet) and your coffee cup will never be empty.

The cheesecake is the standout star of the pastry case. Light & fluffy while somehow also dense and rich, it is one of the best cheesecakes I've had in Los Angeles. The rest of the pastries can't hold a candle to this one: croissants are soggy, thin pastries without the flaky, buttery goodness one comes to expect from a good croissant. Fruit tarts are heavy on the gelatin, and even the taste of fresh summer berries can't overpower that much gelatin flavor. The crust, eh, nothing to write home about. Trust me, order the cheesecake and dodge the rest. You'll thank me later.

The Bad: Dinner. Brunch is king at Figaro Bistrot, but the dinner leaves something to be desired. The other night I ordered the boeuf bourguignon ($26) and was left wanting. Figaro raises your expectations by bringing out the stew in brightly colored pots that look like they were yanked straight from a Le Creuset catalog. They get full points for presentation. The waiter sets down the plate (you may or may not have had a person encounter with the waiter at this point, see "The Ugly" below), removers the cover and voila! A dry pot of beef chunks and carrot slices. Wait, that wasn't the reveal I was waiting for!

This version was not what I had be dreaming about since watching "Julie & Julia"! Figaro's boeuf bourguignon was dry and unimaginative. There was a massive bed of fettucini underneath my stew that seemed to be an odd out-of-place accompaniment. The chunks of meat were huge and didn't retain any of the flavor from the sauce. It quickly became apparent after a few bites that the meat was either not stewed down with the carrots and sauce or that it just wasn't cooked together long enough. Mushrooms made the occasional appearance, though they were probably about two total in the entire pot. Overall, it was boring, poorly executed, and almost made me wish for something out of a crockpot. Almost. (Disclaimer: I have a severe dislike of crockpots and almost anything that comes out of them-which will invariably be an overcooked or undercooked pile of grey sludge, no matter what went into it in the first place)

A french staple, boeuf bourguignon is a tribute to the ingenuity of french cooking and its ability to transform basic, boring root vegetables and tough cuts of meat into something sinful. When done correctly, it highlights not only the wine it is cooked in, but it also transforms that tough cut of meat into a soft, flavorful forkful that is practically falling apart on your fork it is so tender. This, my friends, is not that boeuf.    

The Ugly: Crowding. On any of several visits I have made to Figaro I have had:
  • a waiter leaning over and breathing directly onto my forehead. I'm talking nostril one inch away from my skin. Ick
  • the chain smoking couple at the next table. Turning your head and blowing your smoke to the side just means that your are literally turning to blow all your smoke in my face. Please, wait to light up until you leave.
  • the awkward butt-in-the-face pass as any of your neighbors gets up to try to go to the bathroom. With literally only inches between the tables, it's a tight squeeze that practically guarantees the back of someone's Levi's will be hovering dangerously close to your bread plate.
  • an intimate knowledge of EVERYONE's conversation. There is no privacy, so be forewarned, this is not the place to discuss that one thing you did while drunk last night and really don't want anyone else to know about. (but thanks for sharing, guy to my left! Your porn addiction goes well with my croissant)
Be prepared to play footsie with your friends, your neighbors, your servers, and possibly that one crazy lady walking down the street.

Budget: If you're a struggling 20something, dinner is not worth it. You're guaranteed to spend about $30/head minimum, without drinks. At around $15 for lunch/brunch, that's a much better bet. Also a good option: get a glass of wine or some coffee and split some delectables from the pastry case with a friend.

Bottom Line:  Grab a seat, get a snack or some brunch and get ready to throw some 'bows.

Figaro Bistro
1802 N. Vermont Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90027
(323) 662-1587
http://www.figarobistrot.com/

*Fun Tidbit* This is totally the place is those State Farm Insurance commercials.

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